I forced myself to take a nap earlier on. It is hard to fall to sleep despite my body is so tired.
I woke up, thinking ,"Hey~it's not that bad. I don't feel like crying anymore. But why can't I off the music from my phone? Been replaying for too long?"
It's only minutes after I really woke up and the my stinging feel of my eyes returns.
I don't know why, the moment my eyes open, they get wet again.

Saw Yin's message. Since I am at the worst now, it could only get better. =)
I hope so.

A part of me regrets this so much. I was looking at the photos we took during our Hongkong trip. Though we looked happy enough but I remembered not feeling as happy as we looked.
I look at Jason. Why haven't I start looking at him properly or when did I stop looking at him altogether?
I guess I know when though.

I briefly counted a 157 days to June 21st before I slept.
Jason told me to try to 'flush' him outta my system during this period of time. A part of me don't want this at all. I really do not want this.
I just want us to go back to where we were. I just want us to be happier like before.
When did we stop trying?When did we stop talking?What happened and why is it so?

I am not walloping in self-pity,for goodness sake. I am just trying to think.
It is not possible for me to feel nothing, carrying out what we have decided just like that.
For all I know...at the end of all this, we just can't go back at all, we can't start afresh too. That is something that I do not want now. Yet I have to stick to this.
It would be a joke to decide that this 'decision' shouldn't be carry out too.

-Sigh-
Jason had wanted me to continue blogging. He thinks I write fine and he keeps reminding me to just carry on. Write through the good and bad days and he would always be reading.
I shouldn't keep posting such tearing emotions cos' they won't be making anything easier for Jason. He knows to in order to get me moving, he has to show me that he is moving already.
Doing it for me as usual.

Gotta eat dinner. I have to keep life going as usual.

Why on earth do I feel like the female lead in Ps.I Love You. ? It feels like that kinda loss altogether?
Hell...